Why I became a doula - my life changing moment.

As a little girl, my sister and I went with my mom to visit the women in our church community after they had a baby. I’m a pastor’s kid so we were often very close to the ministry our parents were doing. I loved going to see the moms and their newborns, I had the incredible privilege of holding these day old babies and listening to how breastfeeding was going, how recovery was going, and my favourite of all - the birth story.

As I grew up I decided I wanted to become an OB/GYN, but then I realized how many years of schooling it would require. At that time I really didn’t like school and definitely didn’t feel like I was smart enough to do 8 years of schooling. So I just waited, not knowing what my career would be.

I started dating my husband a year after I graduated from high school, and had all but given up on being in the birth world but still didn’t know what I wanted to do. We got married and he went to university while I just worked steady jobs. During his time in university we had two beautiful babies, and two entirely different births and recoveries.

For my first birth, I was induced with cervidil, then two hours later my doula came and we were sent home shortly after. I laboured at home and was able to fall asleep in between contractions because of how well I was able to use deep relaxation/breathing techniques (my doula instructed me so well). Then I began bleeding and feeling a strong urge to poop, I didn’t know that was a sign of being close to delivering and it came on soooo fast. We decided to have another bath and see what happened after that. While in the tub I had a contraction where my body literally started pushing all on it’s own. My doula was face to face with me saying “do not push that baby out right now,” and helping me to breathe through it. We lived 5 minutes from the hospital so we booked it there and my doula thought we were going to pull over to deliver in the car. We thankfully made it there and went up the elevator, but because we were back so soon, the nurses didn’t think I was close to delivery. The nurse barely believed I was contracting because I was able to handle it so well, she wanted me to lay on the bed and put the monitor on but I knew it was delivery time. I partially stripped and hopped on the bed and the next contraction hit right away. My water broke with that one so the nurse took a peek down below before she ran out of the room calling for help. The nurse called for a doctor and told her there wasn’t time to get to a delivery room. The doctor got there and checked, she decided we could make it and they literally ran me through the hallways. I had another contraction and was convinced that I’d deliver right there, but thankfully we made it, I switched beds and in just a couple pushes I met my sweet Whitney. From induction to delivery I was 2 minutes short of exactly 9 hours. I loved every second of it, I didn’t think it was that painful, I was so supported, and I was immediately ready to do it again. 

When my second came along, I had planned to have a doula but several circumstances changed that plan last minute. I was induced again, but this time with a folly bulb and pitocin. My baby was high risk and we needed to see if she could even tolerate contractions, she did well in the stress test but we needed to be able to control the labor and gradually build it up just in case. I was told to stay in my bed the whole time and I had to lay on my left side for most of it and I was only allowed to get up to use the bathroom on my own at the beginning, after that it was a catheter only. Labour was progressing at a snail's pace, I was so exhausted from being awake for hours, contractions had been consistent and fairly close together the entire time, and my left side was so numb (and I hadn’t even had the epidural yet). My goal was to not have an epidural like my first, but I just needed to sleep, so I decided to get one and hopefully have a break. I was now onto my third delivery nurse and she came in ready to go, she recommended some labor positions that she had just learned and I finally got some progress happening. A few hours later I started pushing but even though my doula had gone over the basics with us again, I just couldn’t do it. I have this very clear picture in my mind of the doctor standing there at the foot of the bed just looking at me like I was crazy. It didn’t matter what instructions my husband was trying to give me, I just couldn’t do it. I wanted my doula there so badly and felt so lost and alone (even in a room full of people). It felt like an eternity, I was not enjoying any part of my labor or delivery like I did in my first and it didn’t seem like I had done this before. Thirty-some  hours of labour had gone by and I finally delivered my second daughter, McKenna, I was overcome with relief that she was healthy. Then I immediately looked at my husband and said, “do not talk to me about having another baby, I am not ready and will not be ready for a long time. When I am ready, I’ll let you know.” I suddenly realized what my doula had done for me the first time around and instantly thought, “the world needs more doulas, I’m going to be a doula.” 

Months went by before I actually told my husband that I wanted to do that, we discussed what this could possibly look like for us and if we could make the on call hours work. We decided it would work, so I went for it. The moment I submitted my application to a doula training school, I felt such a release. I knew God had made me to do this and that I had just stepped into my calling to support families.

I worked hard to complete my course while I was on maternity leave, I did homework every day while my girls napped or after they went to bed at night to get it done before I had to return back to full time work. I wrote my 3 exams the weekend before my parental leave ended. I honestly can’t believe I was able to get it all done so quickly and score so well.

So much has happened since I wrote and passed my exams, but the thing that just keeps growing stronger is how passionate I am about what I do and how strongly I believe that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.